Our Opinion on OBs

Dear OB/GYN,

It’s possible that people have forgotten that you're a human being. 

Is that weird to consider? Does it feel odd to know that people see you as a magical creature who lives at the office and/or hospital? Is it uncomfortable that people expect you to be impossibly close to perfect?

In our role, we see you a bit differently. Maybe it's because we have conversations with you outside of a hospital room, we've had coffee with you, or we're 'friends' on social media. Maybe it's just because we tend to look a bit deeper.

When we look at you, we see:

*An entire family that is waiting for you at home. This might be your first shift after an incredible and relaxing family vacation. Or you could have just left a sullen teenager at home after you were required to be the "bad guy" and say no to yet another request. Your family is like every other family. You have good days together... and some pretty rough days. Maybe your toddler chose not to sleep last night. Or your child care fell through for today. Or you and your partner just couldn't get on the same page. Because: You're human.

*The memories of so many births. You've been a part of more births than we will ever be. You've seen fast births and very slow births. You've seen quiet, peaceful births. And you've seen loud births filled with $%#@! You've seen hundreds of safe, healthy births where joy fills the room. And you've seen births filled with sorrow. We watch you. We see you paying close attention. We know how badly you want all births to be those joy-filled ones.

*The weight of responsibility on your shoulders. And that weight is heavy. You carry the responsibility for protecting the lives of two humans. You have to focus on all of the medical needs while still respecting the birth experience of each person. It's costly- mentally, emotionally, and financially. 

*That you have fears, too. We don't know what happened last night. Or this morning. We don't know how your last birth went. But we do know that some births are really rough. Even scary. And you carry that with you- because that's what humans do.

*You leave your opinions at the door. Given that you're human, we know you do actually have opinions about birth. We're pretty sure you have thoughts on best positions, best pain relief options, best steps to take. But you don't bring them into the room with you. If we watch close enough, sometimes we can see you bite your tongue when you're doing your very best to take any of your own bias out of the experience. And we know that's not easy. (Just as it's not easy to swallow the "I told you so" that may sneak into your brain every now and then.)

When we look at you, we see you.

A human being doing their best to balance out all that is required of them during every.single.day. 

And, holy cow poo, Batman. Do we ever appreciate you!

We’ve watched you save lives and comfort families and cry with families and sing to babies and take charge in a room … and so, so much more. We.appreciate.you.

Andrea WillemsComment